


Soft Boys are Soft

by mackboeser



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Fluff, Friendship/Love, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, OOPS IM SORRY, Panic Attacks, Sad and Happy, Use of playlists to confess your love, more to be added as I write my lil drabbles
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-14
Updated: 2020-01-01
Packaged: 2020-06-27 22:39:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19799200
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mackboeser/pseuds/mackboeser
Summary: This is gonna be where I post all my cute lil drabbles. I take requests so if there's any boys y'all want me to write about, just let me know who!





	1. Friendship Bracelet

**Author's Note:**

> IF YOU FOUND THIS BY GOOGLING YOU OR SOMEONE YOU KNOW, please click away.  
> This is a work of pure FICTION.

Josty was a little nervous. He’d spent his off day trying to put this together. He was worried that Gabe would think it was completely stupid. He didn’t wanna be laughed at, especially not by his team captain. So he fidgeted anxiously with the small gift, contemplating running off and not facing Gabe. He toughed it out, sitting in his stall after everyone had mostly dispersed. It wasn’t exactly normal for him to still be sitting there, but he had told Kerfy and JT to head back home without him. He’d get an Uber back, or if he didn’t make too much of a fool of himself, he’d ask Gabe. He figured it was weird for him to hang around, if Gabe’s face after coming out of the trainer’s room was anything to go by.

“Josty, what are you still doing here? Didn’t you ride in with JT and Kerf?”

Gabe’s surprise was evident in his voice. The sound caused Tyson to flush bright red. Maybe this was a horrible idea and he shouldn’t have followed through. He tried to smile, but a small squeak escaped him instead. His eyes widened in embarrassment as Gabe stood in front of him. He had a sudden look of concern flash across his face.

“I uh… I did, yeah, but uhhh…”

He was stuttering like a mess. This was not nearly as simple as he thought in the beginning, but when words fail, actions were there. He held out the beaded bracelet, smiling nervously at him.

“I… uh… I made you this friendship bracelet.”

Gabe looked incredibly shocked. He took the bracelet gently from Josty’s hands and sat it in his palm. Tyson inhaled sharply, frowning slightly. 

“I… It’s stupid. I’m sorry. I uh.. I just um.. You don’t have to wear it.”

Gabe immediately pulled his hand to his chest, holding the bracelet tightly. An almost furious look spread across his face.

“Absolutely not! I’m gonna wear it. I’ll wear it every damn day, Tyson Jost. Don’t touch it.”

Josty grinned, beaming in delight. He was glad Gabe actually liked it and wasn’t just fooling him. He watched the older man slide it on his wrist. Gabe looked extremely proud, grinning from ear to ear. It was the best feeling he’d ever had. The blonde quickly wrapped him in a hug, squeezing him tightly. 

“C’mon, let’s get some lunch and then I’ll take you home.”

Tyson couldn’t resist that. He simply nodded in agreement and grabbed his stuff. 

Days turned into weeks turned into months and they were swamped with games and practices. Tyson found himself just trying to keep himself in the moment. He’d pretty much forgotten about the bracelet thing until he saw the soft colors of the beads poking out from Gabe’s sleeve. His heart warmed immediately. It was so simple and so… sweet to see. He knew that Gabe was always going to be a good man. He was glad to call the man his captain. 


	2. Cuddle With Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some more Josty/Gabe

Josty could not sleep. They’d made it to their hotel earlier in the evening, but he was restless. The bed wasn’t comfy and he felt some weird itch beneath his skin. It wasn’t unusual for him to feel this way. He’d get like this whenever they were on the road. He wasn’t embarrassed when it came to needing to be touched and held. JT and Kerfy were usually right there with him, but he had somehow gotten his own room and it was incredibly lonely. He was highly aware of how dumb and childish he was being, but he really just… needed something or someone close to him. 

His first thought was to maybe find Kerf or JT. He crossed them off the list. They were probably tired of him constantly needing some form of touch and affection. He also just felt bad about it. He wasn’t one to bother people unless it was absolutely necessary. Tyson liked to keep to himself for the most part, especially when there weren’t winning. He internalized everything and gave himself a much harder time than he should be. It’s just how things were for him. In this moment, however, he really needed someone. 

He wouldn’t bother Tyson or Nate. He didn’t think they were up for that sort of stuff; especially not Nate. He made a soft noise of distress, throwing the covers off of him and sitting up. There weren’t many people he would go to in this situation. It was hard being alone sometimes. His thoughts got the better of him and he hated that. It wasn’t fun to blame himself for things he had no control over. The idea of allowing himself to cope alone wasn’t appealing by any means. It felt awful to be having this sort of issue now, when they’re on the road, than at home. JT and Kerf wouldn’t be upset at him for coming in during the night and slotting himself by one of them. But he couldn’t do that here. He couldn’t just waltz into someone’s room for a cuddle.

But he definitely could knock. He’d made his way to Gabe’s door, knowing the captain had also gotten his own room. It took a few moments of hesitation before he finally knocked on the thick wood of the door. He couldn’t help the fact that he was now breathing uneven with anxiety. There wasn’t a lot of time to back out because the door was opened slowly and a sleepy, shirtless Gabe Landeskog appeared in front of him. The captain was rubbing sleep from his eyes, before blinking in slight shock at seeing Josty. Tyson immediately felt terrible, frowning in embarrassment.

“Josty? What’s up, bud? It’s way passed your bedtime.”

There was no anger in Gabe’s voice; just concern and exhaustion. Josty couldn’t form words, mouth moving, but nothing being verbalized. His eyes began watering at how completely humiliating this whole thing was. He wasn’t a child anymore. He was 20 years old and he shouldn’t need comfort in human form anymore. But here he was, standing in front of Gabe and looking like a lost child. Gabe’s look of concern only grew upon seeing the changes. He grabbed Tyson and gently brought him into the room, shutting the door softly behind them. 

Gabe practically dragged him to the bed. He didn’t say a word and neither did Gabe. He fumbled for a moment, looking at Gabe who was already getting back into the bed. Gabe shot him a small smile in the dark.

“C’mon, Josty. Lay down with me and tell me what’s going on.”

Tyson was quick to obey, climbing onto the bed and shifting so he was right by Gabe’s side. He could feel Gabe’s warmth from being pressed so close. Gabe huffed out a soft laugh, an arm coming around Josty’s torso.

**_“You come to my room and wake me up at 4am… to cuddle?”_ **

Josty let out a sound of protest, burying his face in Gabe’s chest. His cheeks were flushed bright red that, he was glad, couldn’t be seen in the darkness of the room. Gabe laughed again, chest rumbling from the sound. He placed a hand in Tyson’s hair and began to soothingly rub his scalp. 

“Couldn’t sleep. Didn’t wanna bother Kerf or JT… always help me when it becomes too much… didn’t wanna pester them again.. M’sorry.”

Tyson’s voice was muffled against Gabe’s chest, but the captain understood and hummed quietly.

“You can always come to me, Tys, you know that. I care about you. I want to make sure you’re okay.”


	3. Hopefully Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some sweet reunion fluff. elias/brock.

The news of Brock re-signing with the Canucks breaks two weeks before training camp. Elias is incredibly excited, but he keeps his emotions at bay until he can be alone. Brock is back in Vancouver the next day, meeting up with his teammates for some informal skate and training. Elias stares longer than he expected himself to in the locker room. If anyone notices, they don’t say anything. He’s happy, healthy, and oh-so grateful that the team is together again, even with the new faces around. Everyone is in high spirits as they all seem to connect and start with team chemistry. Brock seems to be lighting up Elias’ life just by being around and he can’t imagine a locker room without him. He’s brought a new meaning to him and given him an even better reason to grow and work hard. 

Elias knows he’s bigger, broader, than when their season ended. Everyone else seems to notice, too. If the chirps in the locker room from the guys are anything to go by, they absolutely noticed. Brock hasn’t said much to him about it, but the continuous touches gives him the idea that Brock definitely likes it. 

They’re alone in the locker room when Brock invites him over. Elias has no problem with agreeing and following Brock mindlessly to his car. Inside Brock’s place, they sit close together, arms touching. Brock initiates it when Elias turns his head. They’re suddenly kissing and Elias can feel himself flushing bright red as their lips pressed together. When Brock breaks the kiss, he’s looking at Elias with so much love and admiration that Elias turns beet red. 

“I missed you so fucking much.” Brock admits it so easily. He’s giving Elias the softest smile he’s ever seen. It’s so easy to love him, so easy to let himself be relaxed around him. 

“Missed you, idiot. Would’ve been nice of you to sign sooner, in my opinion.” The snark is prominent, but Elias can hear his own admiration in his voice. He can tell Brock did as well by the way he leans his head back and laughs. 

There’s a comfortable silence as they just stare at each other with grins. Elias had never felt this content. He leans forward, pressing his forehead to Brock’s. They kiss again, slow and full of love. It’s in this moment that Elias knows Brock has him wrapped around his finger in the same way Elias has Brock wrapped around his own. They’re with each other until the end of the line. They’re with each other through it all. Through every hard game, every bad season, every injury and sickness, they have each other. They’ll have each other, hopefully forever. 


	4. "I love you." "fuck you, i wanted to say it first."

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The title is so misleading to the drabble, but it's basically true.  
> nate/ej. some fluffy angst.

The moment Nate met Erik, he knew he was in for it. Erik was tall, blonde and built like a train. The older man was absolutely endearing, no matter how annoying he could be. Nate was fucked from the start, falling almost instantly for the toothless man. He brushed it off as just a rookie crush in the beginning. Everyone got those at some point their first season. He’d heard plenty of tales about it. This felt different, though. An injury to Erik caused Nate far more distress than it should’ve. His game was off. His mind wasn’t in the right place. They brushed it off as a rookie thing, saying he would break out eventually.

His admiration and deeply rooted infatuation with Erik stuck around. As their 2018-2019 season closed out, Nate felt a little too responsible for their second round exit. Everyone was hurting in their own ways, both physically and mentally, but the team was well aware of just how much weight Nate seemed to be carrying the moment his podcast interview dropped. Admitting to seeing a sports psychologist was something Nate never really pictured himself openly talking about, but when the time came, he wasn’t ashamed of it. He wasn’t too proud, but he knew that for the sake of his own well-being, he needed to see someone or else he was going to go down a path that was not something he wanted to. Hockey was important to him, but so was his health and when hockey put a strain on his mental health, he knew he needed to start taking care of that, too. 

There was a surprising amount of heartfelt text messages he received from his teammates and friends from other teams. It was weird, Nate had decided after the first ten text messages. He knew it was pretty surprising to most of the league since he always seemed so well composed and sure of himself. In reality, Nate was always going to make mistakes and be sort of a disaster. That was just how life was for people. 

He’s sitting on his lake house porch with EJ when the topic comes up again. EJ finally came to visit Nate’s summer home and Nate was ecstatic about it. He’d invited Erik many times since he’d gotten the house to come and Erik hadn’t until this year. EJ brings it up casually, nursing a fresh beer. 

“You know you could’ve told us, right? We would have supported you 100%. You know we’ve always got your back.”

Nate takes a breath before sighing.

“I wasn’t intentionally keeping it from anyone. It never came up. I know I can be a lot. I know I can handle things better than most. You know how I can get. You know that I’m always trying to be better. This was a step I took on my own decisions to help progress and help heal.”

Erik seems to freeze up at the response. He’s staring at Nate so intensely. Nate shifts slightly, eyes searching Erik’s face for something, anything, to explain what’s going through his mind. There’s a few moments of silence before Erik is up and striding over to Nate. He easily brings Nate to his feet, hands guiding him gently and bringing him into his chest. They’re hugging. It’s really nice. Nate sort of shuts down at that moment. 

His little crush on EJ wasn’t ever as small as he wished it was. Nate was more than happy to deny his feelings for him. He forced himself to be content with the friendship and the “bro” stuff. They were teammates and very close friends, but Nate had always felt like there was more to them than either were willing to admit. It was easier that way, he supposed. They couldn’t ruin team dynamics, couldn’t hurt each other. Every lingering touch and second longer than the others hug seemed to hint at something more, though. Nate was smitten with Erik. Tyson and Gabe were aware of it. With Tyson gone, he wasn’t sure who was going to stop him from making an absolute fool of himself and confessing. 

In the moments of the hug, Nate’s mind had thoughts going crazy. He hadn’t realized that Erik pulled back slightly. A hand gently lifted Nate’s chin and their eyes met. Erik leaned in, connecting their lips in a soft kiss. Nate stood there for a moment in shock. There was so much happening all at once. He finally registered the kiss and immediately kissed back. They stood there kissing for a few seconds before parting. Erik gives Nate a toothless grin.

“I’ve wanted to do that for ages.”

Nate feels something lift off his shoulders. His body relaxes almost immediately.

“You’re not alone in this, idiot. You’ve got me. You’ve got the team.” 

Erik turns serious.

“I care about you. I know I shouldn’t be trying anything, but god, nate… I can’t stop thinking about you. I can’t stop myself from loving you. You walked into that locker room that first day we met and I was fuckin doomed immediately.”

Nate reels back, surprised at the confession. His own feelings were bubbling beneath his skin. He was ready to boil over, give Erik every single thing he could. 

“I know I’m not young. I can’t keep up and my time is slowly coming to an end, but I never want to be away from your side. You’re so fucking important to me, Nate.”

Erik’s voice is shaky, like he’s on the verge of tears.

“I’ve liked you for so damn long at this point. And I can’t keep hiding it. I can’t keep pretending it’s not a big deal.”

Nate is staring at this point. His eyes are watery. He’s not smiling. He’s worried. He’s afraid. He’s so damn afraid.

“You mean that?”

It’s a simple question. It’s whispered weakly and still full of so much emotion. Erik looks back at Nate with a look of pure determination.

“I’d like to take you out. I’d like to hold you close. I’d like to see you in our bed on early mornings. I want it all with you, but I can stick to just dates for now. Maybe introduce you to the horses, you know?

Nathan shakes his head, laughing. It’s music to Erik’s ears. He’d do anything to hear it more. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And if you're wondering, Nate and Erik get married after they win the cup the next year.   
> Tyson Barrie was a groomsman. for them both. It was WILD.   
> On their cup day, They share some spaghetti out of the cup and do the lady and the tramp scene. It's cute.


	5. Buttered Bread and Pasta

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Have some Charlie McAvoy/David Pastrnak! I have no explanation for this. It was supposed to be short and sweet, but then this happened.

Charlie is 21 years old, almost 22, when he realizes he’s in love with his teammate and best friend, David Pastrnak. He’s 21, almost 22, at the start of his 3rd NHL season when he first realizes that he’s definitely NOT straight. To make a long story short, Charlie heard a song on the radio and had thought of Pasta immediately. It was upbeat and happy, full of sincerity with every word. It was David in a nutshell. Charlie had googled the song almost immediately when he’d made it home. He wasn’t about to let himself forget it. And it sort of became a thing.

Two weeks. It was two whole weeks and over 100 songs later that Charlie realized this wasn’t exactly normal. He had been doing it mindlessly. He wasn’t really paying attention to the fact that he made a whole 100+ playlist on his spotify for David fucking Pastrnak, specifically because these songs reminded him of the Czech man. There wasn’t anything he could really… say or do to make this seem… not weird, but then again, he didn’t plan on telling anybody. And yeah, maybe he was listening to the playlist daily, but that also wasn’t anyone’s business. He absolutely was having a crisis. It was no big deal. He just… might be in love with a teammate. That happened sometimes. Like he said, it was no big deal. He definitely wasn’t agonizing over his sudden infatuation and admiration for his teammate. There was no way he was even remotely making things worse for himself by allowing himself to relish in the random touches and nearness of Pasta from the past few days of practice. He was absolutely not allowing himself to have hope.

Except that he WAS allowing himself to have hope for something more and it was practically destroying him on the inside. The thing is: even without this stupid playlist, Charlie would still be hopelessly in love with his teammate. It would probably take him longer to actually understand his feelings without the playlist, but he definitely would still have these feelings. This whole situation was a fucking disaster. He didn’t even know where to start. He didn’t even know who to turn to. It could not be Big Z. That man has been through too much for Charlie to even consider talking with him about this stupid shit. He decided to place it on the backburner. He’d figure it out soon enough. 

Soon enough fell on a scheduled day off for the team when Patrice and Brad decided that they wanted to take Charlie out with them for a few hours. When they showed up and ushered Charlie into the backseat, he knew this was about to be a long day. He could see the two glancing at each other as they pulled into a small diner parking lot. It was that moment that everything sort of came to the boiling point of “oh my god im suddenly very much not straight. I made a playlist for my fucking teammate who i happen to be in love with and to top it all off, i dont know what the hell im doing because im twenty one and an actual disaster.” The panic was evident on Charlie’s face by the time they sat down. He was so worried and absolutely terrified at this point. Brad and Patrice were picking up on his panic rather quickly.

“Cheeks, bud, you gotta calm down. You’re okay.”

Charlie was staring at them, eyes wide and full of fear. He couldn’t bring himself to actually listen. There was so much happening, so many emotions, and it was completely overwhelming. He knew he was in deep trouble. He was suddenly just so aware of everything. It didn’t make any sense to him how all of this could just be so… apparent. It made him feel sick. When an arm wrapped around his shoulders, though, it grounded him. He was brought back to reality with Patrice at his side and Marchy still sitting across from him. 

“Welcome back, bud.”

Patrice’s voice was so soft and Charlie felt himself relax even more. He trusted them. He knew he could trust Brad and Patrice. They were like… his dads, in a way. They always had his back, always supported him. He looked between the two of them, trying hard to get his voice to work. It took a few moments of him taking deep breaths before he could finally even speak.

“Guys, I… I don’t… I’m not sure how it happened. I’m really not. I started making him a playlist! A fucking playlist??? I didn’t… I don’t…”

It was a jumble of words, but Patrice and Brad took it in stride. They slowly coaxed Charlie into taking a few sips of water. Then it became slightly more serious. They wouldn’t stop looking at him intently. 

“Cheeks, you’re gonna have to start from the beginning, bud. We have no idea what’s happening.” Brad spoke with such ease and it made Charlie feel a bit better.

“I… I heard a song on the radio the other day. Jake and I were going to the rink for practice. It reminded me of Pasta. I couldn’t… I couldn’t forget it so I… I googled it. And uh, maybe I started hearing more and more songs that reminded me of him? I made him a playlist.”

The two older men were speechless for a few moments. They were staring at each other with some weird expressions on their faces and it was kind of unnerving to witness. He shifted uncomfortably before continuing.

“I kept hearing all these songs and they all just… kept reminding me of him. I couldn’t help it. I couldn’t stop thinking about him or these songs and it just… happened. I thought maybe if I made the playlist, I would stop being fucking weird, but it just ended up getting worse. I’m pretty sure I’m in love with him. I didn’t… I don’t… I can’t explain it. I really don’t know what’s happening and I kinda wanna lock myself in mine and Jake’s apartment, but he wouldn’t let me and I know you guys wouldn’t either.”

Charlie took a deep breath. He was rambling at this point, but Patrice and Brad definitely understood everything. Patrice gave him possibly the softest smile he’s ever seen and ran a hand through his hair. Brad just chuckled quietly, smiling, too. Charlie huffed out a small laugh, unable to keep his own smile contained. 

“Chuck, it’s okay. You know that, right? It’s alright.”

“We love you. We support you. This is a big deal, Charlie. It’s not something you should ever be sorry about or ashamed of.”

The words of encouragement were welcomed, but Charlie knew that it wouldn’t be like that with everyone. He knew they weren’t just saying this, though. They really meant it. They loved him like a brother. It was why Charlie couldn’t leave any of them. He couldn’t go anywhere else. Boston was it for him. He loved his found family here. He took a deep breath. There was more to this, though. He knew this wouldn’t be easy. Nothing ever seemed to be.

“Have you… Have you spoken with David about your playlist?” It’s Brad asking the question. It makes Charlie freeze up a bit before slowly shaking his head.

“What would I tell him? “Hey, Pasta! I made you a playlist! Please respond.”” Patrice snorts in the background. He’s still rubbing soothing circles into Charlie’s shoulder. 

“I mean, maybe! You definitely could tell him that!” Brad argues back, snickering. 

Charlie rolls his eyes and considers it. He slowly nods, “That could potentially work, right? Like, I could…. I could send him the link??? It’s… It’s on my spotify so… he COULD listen to it.”

There’s a beat of silence before Brad launches himself into a fit of laughter. “Do it right now. Send him the link, Cheeks. We have practice tomorrow. Something is bound to go down.”

Patrice sends Brad a glare. “If you’re comfortable enough to do it, then do it. Don’t think you have to. This is your story to tell, your decisions to make.”

The rest of their lunch goes by without anything else major. Charlie doesn’t stop thinking about sending Pasta the playlist. When he’s back home, sitting in the living room while Jake plays COD, he mindlessly taps away around his phone. He opens the playlist and with a few clicks, the playlist link is shared directly to Pasta. He turns his phone to ‘do not disturb’ and places it on the coffee table before joining Jake for a few games. 

He doesn’t think about it for awhile. Into the evening, he’s busy playing video games with Jake. There’s something bothering his roommate, though. Charlie can tell about halfway through the third session of COD. He manages to ignore it, but something brings him to look directly at Jake after he’s killed off in the game.

“Hey, Jake. I… I think I’m gay.” 

It’s sort of blurted out and said without much confidence, but Charlie is trying his best to come across as completely nonchalant. It rattles him when Jake sets his controller down and stares at him intently. There’s a moment when Charlie’s heart probably stops beating, but it blurs together as soon as Jake is next to him, arms wrapping around his torso in a hug. Charlie also doesn’t seem to notice he’s actually crying until Jake is wiping away whatever tears he can.

“We’re bros for life, dude. I support you no matter what.”

Jake has that stupid grin on his face and Charlie can’t help the amount of joy he feels in that moment. He hugs Jake back tightly. It feels good; It feels organic. This is something that he knows he’ll remember when he’s much older. Jake is his best friend and brother. They’re basically two peas in a pod. The team knows it, the fans know it, they know it. Charlie is glad he can count of Jake.

Optional skate the next morning sees Charlie and Jake both in their gear and ready to get in some extra practice. There’s no sign of Pasta for optional skate and Charlie is slightly grateful for it. He’s not sure he can face Pasta today. He’s not really sure he’ll ever be able to face Pasta. He hasn’t actually checked his phone at all since he sent the playlist. He pushes that out of his mind and focuses on practice. 

When they’re finished getting dressed and showered after skate, Jake grabs Charlie’s phone from out of Charlie’s bag and hands it to him.

“I’ve been told to tell you to check your phone.”

Charlie takes it, suddenly filled with nerves. He knows what this means. He unlocks it, going to his messages slowly. There’s five unread texts; One from Brad, one from Patrice, and 3 from David. Charlie gulps. He opens David’s texts first.

_ “Charlie!! Where’d you find this?” _

_ “Wait…” _

Both sent yesterday night.

And finally,

_ “Charlie, What is this?” _

Which he received a few minutes ago. 

Charlie flushes a bright red, suddenly unable to catch his breath. He looks to Jake, eyes unseeing and a little blurry. He thinks Jake is saying his name, but he can’t really tell. He sounds so far away. Everything kind of stops for a moment. He’s unsure of what happened, but he’s sitting down on the locker room bench and there’s a hand rubbing his back. There’s soft whispers in his ear and he thinks maybe he’s dead. It’s not until his breathing is calmed and he’s back to reality that he sees Z, Jake, and their trainer in front of him. Jake’s hand is on his back and he’s still whispering softly to try to calm Charlie down. He blinks a few times, looking between the three around him. 

“Cheeks, dude, holy shit.”

Jake sounds breathless as he speaks. There’s concern deep in his eyes and Charlie feels all too aware of the fact that he’s a mess. Charlie kind of wants to die in that moment. 

“M’okay. It’s.... fine. I just… I dunno. That’s been happening… a lot lately.”

He’s suddenly being ushered into the medical room and sat on the examining table. He frowns the whole time as their trainer checks him over. He’s released a few minutes later with strict instructions to get some rest and come right back tomorrow morning before practice. Jake helps him take his stuff to the car and declares himself the driver for the ride home. Charlie doesn’t bother arguing. 

There’s a moment where Charlie remembers Pasta’s messages and he quickly brings his phone out. He has one more text from Pasta.

_ “You made me a fucking playlist. Please respond.”  _

Charlie doesn’t know what to say. When he’s home, he heads straight to bed. His head is pounding and he feels oddly exhausted. Before he can even finish settling, there’s a knock on his bedroom door and then Pasta is entering his room, a determined look on his face. Charlie practically freezes, staring at Pasta.

“You don’t answer my texts. Jake tells me something happened with you after optional skate. I get worried and have to come here to make sure you’re okay and see what the fuck is happening.”

David doesn’t sound angry. He’s just filled with worry and concern for Charlie. Charlie knows he has to say something. 

“I made you that playlist because I’m in love with you. Those songs remind me of you.”

He practically blurts it out. He watches as David stops in his tracks, seemingly contemplating his next moves. Charlie, being the idiot that he knows he is, doesn’t stop.

“I’m gay, I think? Maybe bisexual? I don’t know. I just know that when I see you, all I can think about is holding your hand and kissing your lips. I didn’t… I didn’t mean to fall for you. I just… You’re so easy to love. You’re so fucking good and I… I just want to be with you forever. I’m so fucking sorry.”

He’s rambling. It’s bad enough that he doesn’t notice David is now in his space, hands on cheeks. He closes the gap between them and kisses Charlie passionately. Charlie doesn’t kiss back at first, still reeling in shock. He registers it fully, though, and kisses back. It’s David who pulls away first. He’s panting and grinning like a madman. 

“That’s… sweet. Really adorable, actually. You made me a playlist.”

Charlie turns red, smiling shyly.

“I made you a playlist. Please respond.”

David laughs before kissing Charlie again.


	6. Photographs

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An AU where Tyson Barrie retires earlier due to an illness instead of being traded to toronto. Gabe and Tyson are in love, but Tyson has a secret that he can't tell Gabe and then it's too late.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey this a work of PURE FICTION. if you found this by googling your name or someone you know, please click away!
> 
> I have no regrets.

It’d been about a month since the last time they saw each other, but to Gabe, it felt like a decade. He missed him. He missed him  _ so damn much.  _ They’d been dating for a year now, but kept it secret due to certain things. Gabe understood and accepted the conditions that came with loving Tyson and none it changed how he felt. Their secret relationship was enough for now. Every time they’d go on a date or do something together, Gabe took a picture of them together. He didn’t want to forget these moments they shared when they were together. Each moment was precious to them. Each memory was cherished. The two spoke every day and Gabe knew Tyson’s trade and health were holding him back from coming to visit him again. He was worried for Tyson more than anything and if it comes down to it, he’d take a personal leave to go take care of him.

Gabe sat on his couch, Zoey by his side. His eyes were staring at the wall, blank and lost. His mind was racing with that phrase. He couldn’t bring himself to call Tyson, though. He wasn’t in the correct state of mind to do so. Tyson would be able to tell something was wrong as soon as he spoke. Gabe gave Zoey a few pats on his head before standing and retreating to his office. He took a seat in his chair and put his head back. The thought of having to call Tyson soon made Gabe slouch in sadness. He didn’t want Tyson to be suffering or sick. He didn’t want him to feel alone during this. Gabe logged into his computer, searching for the “pictures” document. He clicked open on it and a gallery of pictures came up. All these pictures were of him and Tyson, together. Some were expected, others were taken randomly, but each had a significant memory.

An hour flew by and Gabe was only halfway through his picture gallery. He spent his time looking through every photo, having the memory of each one come back to him. Gabe knew he should stop, but he couldn’t bring himself to. He could quite possibly lose his boyfriend due to something that might not be able to be helped. And that thought crushed him. Gabe and Tyson were friends for years and now that they were dating, he felt that losing him would hit him much harder than anything else. “I love you so much,” Gabe whispered. His hands trembled as he stared at the picture on the screen. The time they went on a walk around the small town they’d met in. They asked for a stranger to take a picture of the two from the back, holding hands. The place was covered in snow and it was a perfect opportunity for a great picture. He remembered Tyson being completely embarrassed when the stranger mentioned how perfect they were for each other after he’d taken the picture. He remembered Tyson clutching onto his hand as the picture was being taken. He remembered every little moment of every picture. Tyson means that much to him. Gabe clicked through the next few pictures before stopping again. The time they met in Denver during the offseason. Tyson was in a pair of jeans and a loose t-shirt. A watch wrapped around his wrist. He stood there awkwardly next to Gabe. Gabe, clad in a pair of jeans and tight shirt, was standing on one leg, the other extended. He was leaned downward to give Tyson a kiss on the cheek. The only thing shown was Tyson’s little smile and their bodies.

This picture caused Gabe to give a small smile. Tyson had been so hesitant to take the picture due to them being in public. He asked a stranger to take the picture anyway, not caring if they were recognized. The two had thanked the lady that agreed to take the picture and the lady had come to realize who Gabe was. She said nothing to them, though. Gabe knew she knew who he was. He’d given her a wink and put his finger to his lips to tell her to keep it a secret. The lady had understood, grinning at Gabe before walking off. Tyson was oblivious to the exchange, but seemed to not really care about it. Gabe gave out a quiet sigh, biting his lip. His phone rang and he knew it was him. He grabbed the phone and hit the ‘answer’ button.

“Gabe!” Tyson’s cheerful voice shouted through the phone.

“Hello, Tyson.” Gabe chuckled, mood improving slightly.

“I miss you.” Tyson replied..

Gabe became worried. 

“I miss you, too. What’s wrong?” Gabe asked, concern dripping from his voice.

“Hey, Gabe? Did you get my package?” Tyson asked, ignoring Gabe’s question.

Gabe frowned. He hadn’t received anything today. At least, he didn’t think he did.

“I don’t think I’ve gotten anything. I’ll check.” Gabe told him.

He stood from his chair and walked out into the hallway. Zoey came running towards him, seeming confused. Gabe walked to the front door.

“Okay! It should be there by now! I think you’ll really like it!” Tyson suddenly seemed happy again.

Gabe became even more confused. He didn’t know what Tyson was up to, but he hoped it wasn’t too bad. Gabe unlocked the front door with his free hand, holding his phone to his ear with the other. He pulled the door open, causing Zoey to back up. He looked back to make sure the door didn’t hit anything before looking back outside. There Tyson stood, box in his hands and grin on his face.

“I have a delivery for Mr. Landeskog. Are you him?” Tyson asked innocently.

Gabe dropped the phone from his ear and rushed at Tyson. He brought the shorter into a hug, which caused Tyson to drop the box on ground. Tyson choked out a laugh, hugging Gabe back and burying his face in the taller man’s chest. Tears made their way into each male’s eyes as the hugged.

“Oh my god, Tyson. What are you doing here?” Gabe questioned quietly, holding back his tears.

Tyson just gave a choked up laugh and proceeded to release him.

“I’ll explain inside. I do actually have a present for you, though.” Tyson replied instead.

Gabe nodded and released him. He watched Tyson pick up the box and led him inside. Zoey was quick to attack Tyson in a series of barks and kisses. Tyson laughed and gave his love back to Zoey. Gabe’s heart fluttered seeing Tyson interact with Zoey. Gabe laughed, telling Zoey to calm down. He took Tyson to the living room where they sat down on the couch. Zoey leaned against Tyson’s legs. Tyson laughed and set the box down on the coffee table. He began to run his hands through Zoey’s fur as he gave Gabe a gentle smile.

“Tyson…” Gabe said softly.

“Yeah, I know. I’m not supposed to be here. It was a last minute decision after waking up from my nap. I put Ralph in a boarding place before coming here.” Tyson explained with an innocent look on his face.

“Tyson.” Gabe scolded, “You absolute nerd.”

Tyson laughed before leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.

“I just wanted to see you. I missed you.” Tyson pouted at Gabe, giving him puppy dog eyes.

Gabe couldn’t resist that look. He scooted forward, bringing Tyson’s face close to his and pecking his lips. Tyson’s face heated up. He missed the feeling of those lips on his. He missed the feeling of those hands holding him close. Gabe pulled away slightly, a cheeky grin on his face.

“I missed you, too, Tyson.” Gabe whispers.

Tyson smiled. His blush grew and he was quick to look away. Tyson’s eyes watered. He felt bad for this. He knew he shouldn’t have come. His doctors would be very disapproving of this. His mother would not be very happy that he just up and left without a word. But Tyson knew he needed to see Gabe before anything further happened. He didn’t want to not see Gabe before anything could happen. He didn’t want Gabe to fly out to see him, not when the season was coming up. He wouldn’t keep Gabe from living his life. He wanted Gabe to have one last photograph before he went.

Gabe hurriedly pulled Tyson back, catching the glistening from Tyson’s eyes. He frowned _._ He turned Tyson’s head so he’d face him. His hands were gentle against him.

“Tyson?”

There wasn’t a reply from Tyson, just a few sniffles and a small smile. Gabe chuckled softly. He knew Tyson was pretty sensitive.

“You have to wait until I fly home tomorrow to open the package, okay? It’s special.” Tyson told him softly.

Gabe nodded in reply. The two sat on the couch for the next few hours. They chatted about how their days were going. Gabe had decided that they should head out to dinner downtown. Tyson agreed with him, feeling quite hungry.

Hours later, the two walked out of the restaurant, hand in hand. The dinner was fantastic. The two took a walk. The pier was down the way and it would be a perfect opportunity for a photo. Gabe was excited for this one. He was going to kiss Tyson directly on the lips this time. It’d be their first picture like that. The two came to a perfect spot. Gabe told Tyson to stand against the railing as he asked for someone to take a picture for them. One teen agreed happily, taking the camera. Gabe rushed back to Tyson, wrapping his arms around the shorter man’s waist. Gabe dipped Tyson backwards and kissed him. The teen took the photo multiple times before smiling at how cute the two were. Gabe broke the pose. He grinned at Tyson and walked to the teen, thanking her.

Gabe walked back to Tyson and took his hand.

“I love you, Tyson.” Gabe said.

“I love you, too, Gabe.” Tyson replied.

The two enjoyed their time at the pier before heading back to Gabe’s. They both laid in Gabe’s bed, cuddled up to each other. It was very peaceful for them both. Tyson, however, knew what was to come.

Morning came all too quickly for the couple. Tyson was dressed, showered, and ready to go by 7:30. Gabe dreaded the journey to drop Tyson off. He hated for Tyson to go. He wanted him to stay with him forever, but he knew that Tyson couldn’t. Gabe got ready and grabbed his keys.

“Alright, we should go before traffic gets bad.” Gabe says, grabbing his coat.

Tyson nodded in agreement and followed Gabe to his car. Gabe unlocked the car and the two got inside. He started the car and drove off. The ride to the airport was quiet. Neither knew what to say to the other. The silence was comfortable, though. They appreciated the others company. When Gabe pulled into the drop off area of the airport, he leaned over and gave Tyson a passionate kiss on the lips.

“I love you.” He said.

“I love you, too.” Tyson said back.

They smiled at each other as Tyson got out. Gabe sat there for a few moments, watching Tyson walk inside. Once inside, Gabe decided he should go. He drove off full of sorrow. He was dying to know what was inside the box, though. 

Gabe walked through his door. He rushed towards the living room where the box still sits on the coffee table. He grabbed a pair of scissors to help him open it and sat down on the couch. He carefully opened the box with the help of the scissors and pulled back the flaps. Inside sat an envelope and a beautifully decorated photo album. He pulled both out and opened the letter first;

“Dear Gabe,

I love you. I love you so damn much. You mean the world to me. As you’re reading this, you know I’m on the plane back home from our short visit. I’m actually writing this on the plane to see you. This was a last minute decision, but I had to see you before the things went down. **I’m dying.** Yeah, you read that right. I’m dying, Gabe. It was way worse than we thought, Gabe. My doctors said that the treatment for this might not work. It’s 30% chance that it will. A 30% chance that I’m going to take because I know that I want to be with you. I want to grow old with you. I want to have a family with you. I want to make all these amazing memories with you. I know that there’s only a slight chance that I’ll live, but I’m going to take this slight chance and I’m going to pull through. I don’t want to be anywhere without you. I don’t want you to be sad. I don’t want you to worry. You deserve so much happiness, Gabe. You deserve more than anything I can give you. You deserve a garden, but I can only give you a single rose. I’m sorry. **_I’m so fucking sorry._**

Inside this package is your gift. Your gift that I had made for you. All of those pictures and memories that come with them are my favorite. There’s a spot for one more, in case I don’t make it. Please put our last picture in the blank spot. Write the memory. That’s what I did with all the others. I can recall every little thing about each of those moments. How gentle you held me. How soft you spoke to me afterwards because I’d become nervous. How you laughed. How your hands felt holding mine. Every little detail is implanted in my brain. They won’t leave. I hope that I make it. I hope that I won’t have to leave you. I hope that I can see you smile again. I hope that I can hear you laugh again. I hope that I can see the twinkle in your eyes when you’re streaming or playing a game or hanging out with your friends. I hope that I can make it so that I can look at you and I can tell you that I love you. I will fight with every part of my being to make it for you.

Please don’t give up if I am not here anymore. Please don’t hold yourself back from things. Please don’t isolate yourself from your family or your friends. They care about you. They will help you. They will offer you support and a shoulder to cry on. They love you. I love you. Your fans love you. Keep going, okay? Even if I’m not still there physically, I’m still there in your heart and I will always be there in your heart.

Love,

Tyson.”

Gabe’s whole body shook as he sobbed. He grabbed the photo album and opened it. Inside was every single photo they had taken together or of each other. Below each photo was a brief summary of the moment. _This nerd…_ He placed the album down and stood. _Would Tyson call him?_

The answer was no. Tyson did not call nor text. He did not tweet or stream. A video was uploaded to his channel every day, but he was not heard from. Not one of their mutual friends had heard from the man and this worried Gabe. He had tried to get ahold of Tyson a few times, but was sent straight to voicemail. Gabe could tell that Tyson’s fans were worried. He had told them about being ill with something a while ago, but never fully stated what it was. The photo album Tyson had given Gabe was set on Gabe’s bed side table for him to look through every night. He was worried and afraid. He was sad and alone. He hoped Tyson made it. He hoped he would be able to hear his voice and laugh again.

A loss was brought to him, though. He received a call a week after Tyson’s visit, letting him know that his boyfriend, Tyson, did not make it. Gabe was left heartbroken, but he listened to Tyson’s words. He knew Tyson would want what is best for him. He knew would be watching over him. And with this knowledge, he let himself keep going. He let himself not give up. But with a heavy heart, he’d smile and laugh. With a heavy heart, he’d continue on. With a heavy heart, he’d love again.


End file.
